There are many stages in life worth remembering, and marriage is one of them. When walking down the aisle, everyone desires to keep lifetime memories and stay with their lovebirds for the rest of their lives. However, marriage is not a bed of roses and your relationship with your partner can become so complicated that the only solution is separation.
From a famous phrase that ‘no man is an island,’ it can be challenging to remain single; after all, we all need someone by our side. But, is it okay to date when separated?
A simple answer on whether it’s okay to date when separated is YES. When you’re used to living as a married person, it can be difficult to start living all by yourself and the good news is that it’s okay to date again. The most important thing is to be prepared psychologically for huge changes in your life. Most importantly, you must balance ‘what was’ and ‘what will be.’ To help separated singles find happiness and love when dating, here are a few things to keep in consideration.
1. Have a conversation with your ex-spouse
When planning to date during your separation, there are two important people to talk to; your lawyer and ex-spouse. Talking to your ex demonstrates that you’re transparent and that you’ve decided to move on with life. Most importantly, it ensures that your parental relationship with your ex will not be affected for the sake of your children, if you have any.
2. Spend some time alone first
Dating when separated is not something you’d want to rush into. Sometimes you can have the pressure to find new love, but dating immediately after separation will only add salt to your injuries.
What you should do is to accept that you’re single and that you’re not emotionally stable to start a new relationship right away.
3. Only date someone if you’re attracted to them
It is common for freshly separated people to run into someone else’s arms for consolation and not love. And now that you are reading this article, this should never happen to you. You should date a person who you are attracted to, not necessarily because you don’t want to be alone or as a replacement for your ex.
If you don’t know where to find your perfect match, start from local women dating sites and who knows, your better half could be there waiting for you.
4. Allow yourself to feel your feelings
Separation is full of highs and lows, and the best thing you can do to move on and find love is to allow yourself to feel the feelings regardless of what they are. For instance, some mornings you’ll wake up feeling energized and enthusiastic about what future holds for you, while other mornings you’ll wake up feeling twinges that your first marriage didn’t work.
Whether your marriage ended for your mistakes or your spouse’s, the bottom line is that your relationship broke, and it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. As a rule of thumb, don’t let the past affect your future.